When you want to kill someone,or just smash their face into a wall or just break some of their limbs with a sledgehammer; mobster style, just remember that Tunisian prisons are not for everyone and that they have a strict no pets policy (even though some animals are locked inside, but you want to take your cat with you and they’re like, no thank you) well I digress, Tunisian prisons don’t have cheesecakes, cupcakes or even brownies on the menu, and the hygiene is shitty at best.
So before committing any of these acts, that I so long for,[please don’t tell that to anyone, my psychiatrist will get me committed and I’ll probably get fired too, and even though my work is almost always the reason for my murderous impulses(that i never indulge in ,I promise) I still enjoy doing it, “occasionally”not the murders ,my job!]
I think very hard, is it worth it? Most times than not,the answer is always YES(notice the capital letters that’s me shouting it) but since I have a terrible sweet tooth( The reason why I am always broke and complaining about not being able to lose those few extras pounds). I found the perfect solution, making voodoo dolls and casting my curses away.
If you ever get a broken foot and see me snickering while you limp by ,know that without a doubt I’m not responsible, cause magic is not real (believe me I tried it) and that’s not me, that’s karma bitch! You should have been nicer to the universe and me, of course.
However I find instead of spreading my negativity and shitty mood around focusing my energy on doing something with my hands, is a good stress reliever.( I tried knitting but I kept imagining tying the scarf around people’s throats and choking the life out of them, so that’s out).
So just take a rag (all those shirts that you never wear but never throw out either because you’re always planing to lose weight and fit in them again, come on it’s probably never happening, put them into good use), make a cute small doll and then proceed to putting wholes into it , sewing some buttons as eyes will help you visualize your target better,(i like to be creative, change the eye color to fit the asshole of the day) and It’s a good use of all those discarded buttons you have lying around(we all do have a drawer or a jar filled with those, let’s not pretend otherwise) also ripping those eyes out is satisfying as hell when you’re extra pissed off .
Well that’s it for today’s art and craft class, it can also be regarded as an anger management one,and Remember kids, violence is bad and all that crap.